Great Tips for Reducing the Stress
of Going Back to School
Grown-ups
begin a new year on January 1st, but for kids the new year begins on
the first day of school. Although kids love to "hate" school, many are
truly eager to learn, to get back to their school, its social scene, and
its reassuring routine. New kids in town, oldest children, kids
transitioning from elementary to middle school or from middle school to
high school, or kids with learning or behavioral challenges, may feel a
little anxious when the new school year rolls around.
Our
job as parents is to raise our children to be independent. One of
parenting's greatest challenges is learning to distinguish when and how
much we should help our children and when we should encourage them to
solve problems themselves. The best way to help your children or teens
prepare for school this year is to teach them by example and by posing
questions that will help them think through their own problems and
arrive at workable solutions.
Some Helpful Tips:
- Use
the two weeks prior to school starting to let your child readjust to
their new bedtime. Set their alarm each night and make sure your little
one is up and at em' the next morning.
- Take
time to go over your child's car pool or bus schedule as well. This way
they will be aware of what time they need to be ready when the big day
arrives. In addition, you may want to go over routes and how long the
ride to school will take. Most importantly, talk to your child about
car/bus safety!
- If
your child is new to town, the oldest, or transitioning from one school
to another, make sure he or she has the opportunity to tour the school a
few days before school begins. Encourage your child to ask questions of
you and anyone he or she meets at the school. Be aware that younger
children, preteens, and teens will all have different fears and
concerns. And, older kids may be too insecure to ask questions for fear
of appearing stupid or un-cool. For example: young children may worry
about paying for lunch the first time and where the lavatories are
located in relationship to their classroom. Preteens and teens may be
more worried about their lockers, lock combinations, and what they're
going to wear the first day of school.
- Before
any "back to school" clothing is purchased, make sure you and your
child or teen know the school dress code. That knowledge will ease
family tension and save you a great deal of time and trouble.
- From
kindergarten on, encourage your children to dress in a way that is
compatible with his or her personality. Let them know that being true to
themselves is "way" better than being trendy; in fact, the kids who
create trends never copy anyone else. Peer pressure builds as kids get
older and celebrating individuality through clothing style is a great
way to show your kids that they do not need the approval of popular kids
to survive, and thrive, in school.
- The
night before school have your child pick out a first day outfit. This
will avoid adding unnecessary chaos to an already hectic event. Have
them pack their backpack as well. Click here for tips on backpack
safety: http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/positive/learning/backpack.html
- School
textbooks are getting heavier and heavier. Make sure you child or
preteen has a sturdy backpack that distributes the weight of books
equally. You may want to invest in a roller backpack that has a luggage
handle so that your child can pull his or her backpack instead of
carrying it.
- If
you plan on packing them a lunch ask them what they would like to eat
on the first day of school. If you aren't fixing their lunch, be sure to
give them lunch money and have them put it in a safe place.
- If
your children will be participating in any extracurricular sports, they
will need a physical. Schedule it as soon as possible, even before
school starts.
- If
your kids had required reading over the summer, you may want to have an
informal discussion with them about their reading right before school
starts. Ask them to remind you what books they read and why they liked
or disliked them. Don't be satisfied with simplistic explanations; ask
for details about characters, place, and plot. Ask them if and why they
would recommend the book to other kids. Your informal book chat will jog
their memories and help them if they are assigned a report on their
summer reading.
- Share
your own feelings and memories about your first day of school
experiences: being the new kid in town; the first one in the family to
ride a bus to school; or the forgetting your locker combination running
between classes in middle school. When your kids share their worries or
concerns, don't dismiss or trivialize them. Validate their concerns. Ask
them if they have ideas on what they can do to alleviate their
apprehensions. If they do not have ideas, brainstorm with them to come
up with viable solutions and actions.
- In
this era of "kidnap fears" it is hard not to be too overprotective of
your children, but try. In most of America, kids can walk to school
safely. They can ride the bus safely, too. Human skin is waterproof, and
dressed for the occasion, kids can walk in the rain and snow unharmed.
The classroom is not the only place where learning occurs. The journey
to and from school provides your kids with another situation in which to
learn. If your area is "traffic safe," adequately prepare your kids
with safety tips and, at an age appropriate time, stop driving them to
school door and let them explore. Their self-esteem will swell with
their responsible independence.
- Make
sure your child has a library card, knows his or her way around the
library, and knows how to find the books he or she will need to complete
assignments and read for pleasure during the school year.
- Get
into the habit of going to the library once a week or once every two
weeks, regardless of whether or not your child's school assignments
require it. The best way you can help your children achieve in school is
to encourage them to read and become life-long readers. The best place
to get free books, magazines, computer access, entertaining stories, and
important information is your neighborhood library.
- No
matter how old or young your children, read through the school student
handbook with them at the beginning of every year. You both need to know
the school's goals, expectations, opportunities, and rules.
- Fill
out any medical and emergency forms and return them to the school
immediately. If your child has any special health or physical needs make
sure you put those needs in writing and that the principal, your
child's teacher, and the school nurse all have copies.
- Establish
a safe place in the house where all school forms and notices can be
deposited every day. Get your kids in the habit of taking all forms and
notices out of their backpacks and putting them in that safe place as
soon as they walk through your door. They need to learn from
kindergarten on that they are responsible for making sure you receive
all communications from their school. It may help to give each of your
children, including your teens, a sturdy plastic folder that they can
keep in their backpack to carry notices home safely.
- Rusty
Browder, the librarian at Amos A. Lawrence School in Brookline, Mass.,
recommends that kids of all ages acquire great "backpack habits." She
suggest that kids go through their backpacks everyday, organize papers
and notebooks, give parents important notices and work, and throw out
garbage of any kind! Older kids who have locker breaks between classes
may want to organize their heavy textbooks in groups of morning and
afternoon classes so that one group of books can be left in their
lockers until needed.
- Read
aloud to your children from their favorite books, every night if
possible, if only for ten or fifteen minutes. And don't assume that once
your child has become an independent reader that he or she no longer
wants, or needs, to be read aloud to. Kids of all ages, and adults, love
to hear a great story. And reading aloud increases your children's
vocabulary, makes them laugh, expands their universe, and helps them to
learn about human understanding and compassion. Besides- it's great fun!
- Try
to find a special time each day to talk with your children about their
day at school. Sometimes that moment takes place in the car driving
between after-school activities. Sometimes it takes place on the phone
from home to your work place. Sometimes it takes place at the table over
dinner. Wherever and whenever it takes place, don't ask the question,
"How was school today?" –– it is a certainty that you will get a one
word answer. Ask: what was served in the cafeteria; did you have gym
outside; how did your history presentation go? –– anything to initiate a
conversation. Never underestimate your impact or importance to your
kids. Your taking the time to take an interest in them and their day is
not only important to their education, it is something they will
remember and cherish the rest of their lives.
- Send them off with big kisses and a bunch of well wishes!
Happy School Year!!
© 2013 Mary Brigid Barrett
This month marks the 200th anniversary of "The Star Spangled Banner." Did you know that our national anthem has its roots in a poem and a drinking song? And that baseball played a role in its history?
The website OurWhiteHouse.org is the online education companion to the NCBLA's award-winning anthology Our White House: Looking In, Looking Out, an incomparable collection of essays, personal accounts, historical fiction, poetry, and a stunning array of original art, offering a multifaceted look at America’s history through the prism of the White House. 
